Cornered By Love

The Navigator

Q: I’ve been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend since freshman year (we are seniors now).  Lately, because we do have many differences, our relationship has been troubled and strained.  I really do love him very much and I think I want this to work.  Except that lately, I’ve been thinking about his fraternity brother and I think I might be developing a crush.  He and I have much more in common and have gotten closer this year.  I find that I am more excited to receive a text from him than from my boyfriend.  Is this normal because we are in a rough patch or is it time to call it quits?

A: Well, it seems to me that you already know what you want to do.  You probably are in love with your boyfriend, but you are done with the relationship and ready to move on.  However, I’m not sure if moving on to his fraternity brother is the right choice.

You are going to create a lot of unnecessary drama and there are a couple of things you might want to consider before even thinking about going after his brother.  Is he really who you want?  You are probably going to be destroying a friendship so do you think that he will choose you?  Are you prepared to lose them both if they decide that you are not worth their friendship?

Also, do you really like the brother as much as you think you do?  Maybe you are just attracted to him because of all the things you have in common.  I’m sure if you actually try to expand your search past fraternities and JU, you can find plenty of guys who match your criteria.  There’s no need to jump from one relationship into another one, which is what will need to happen if you go after the brother. Otherwise, you will become a joke and your reputation will go down the toilet.

You’re young and you’re getting ready to graduate from college.  Do you really need to be in any relationship right now?  You should focus on yourself and your own goals for the future.  Don’t worry about men right now.  Trust me, you will have plenty of opportunities to worry about them later.