Cornered by Love

The Navigator

Rica Caughman

Q: This guy that I kind of knew through mutual friends saw me out one night and he asks my friend for my number. I gave it to him and he starts texting me. Everything was going great for about 2 weeks, I really began liking him and I never like ANYBODY since my last boyfriend. Anyways I started noticing that I was always the one hitting him up, and he would answer and be excited to hear from me and everything, but if I didn’t text him he wouldn’t text me at all!  So after a few weeks my friends talked me into deleting his number because “if a man wants you, you’ll know”. So I deleted his number and he hasn’t called texted or anything since!! I’m so sad. I mean he asked ME for my number! Like, what happened??
I finally am open to someone else after a serious relationship and this is what happened. 
What did I do wrong?

A: His approach was a little weak from the start. If you have mutual friends, he should have felt comfortable enough to ask you for your number himself. And then when he gets it – he texts? I know I’m not 18 years old anymore, but that is kind of a lame ass way to get things going. He may be a little passive. A little shy.  Who really knows?  Typically a man has no problem letting a girl know when he’s interested.

Your friends are right. He has your number too and he needs to make the next move. I know you’re disappointed, but the reality is that you are going to have to go through a couple of frogs before you find your prince. Don’t let this one guy, who in my opinion isn’t much to lose sleep over, stop you from keeping yourself open to new relationships. That’s just the way it is.

You’ve got to get a thick skin and let things go if they don’t work out. You’re doing everything right – just move on to the next one.

Now, onto the tough love.  I’m not Dr. Phil or Ask Abbey and I am not going to sugar coat anything.  You wrote to me so I am going to offer you something that I feel you need to think about.  Why, after only 2 weeks of texting, are you so emotionally involved with this guy?  It almost seems like you were more into the thought of getting into another relationship than into the actual guy.

If that’s the case then there’s some good news and some bad news.  The good news is that you are definitely ready to move on to a new relationship.  The bad news is that if you don’t get a little tougher, you’re in for a lot of heartache.

Have you ever seen the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”?  You might want to check it out.  Be the exception, not the rule.  And know the difference so you don’t end up playing the fool.