Cornered By Love

The Navigator

Q:  My ex-boyfriend and I had a really great relationship.  Of course, we are broken up for a reason but recently he has come back into my life and I can see that he has made an effort make the changes that caused problems in our relationship.  I have moved on but I am wondering if I should give my ex a second chance?

A:  I can understand why you may be a little confused with this situation.  All the good times you had with your ex probably came flooding back along with the fact that you have probably missed him more than you like to admit.

The good news is that you can look at this from a clearer point-of-view now that you have healed from the break-up and have moved on with your life.  You know how your life (and your heart) is with him and without him.  So do you take the step back and give him a second-chance, maybe to have your heart broken once again?  Or do you let him go and wonder for the rest of your life if you made the right decision?

Second chances are a very tricky situation.  As women, we like to forgive but we also must refuse to be anyone’s fool.  You really need to take a look at why you broke up in the first place.  Is it something that you can live with?  I see that he has made some positive changes but is it enough to give you what you need from him so that you can be happy in this relationship?

Men have a tendency to tell women what they want to hear and do what the woman wants whenever they feel that they are losing that person.  Do you feel that this new behavior will continue even after you take him back and the honeymoon phase is over?

I realize that I have given you a lot to think about but what it really gets down to is this: Does this man fit into the future you have planned for yourself?  There’s no point in giving a second-chance if you don’t see this person as a permanent fixture in your life.

Now if you do decide to take him back, take things very slow.  Do not jump in with both feet!  Move slowly and make sure that he really has changed the things that caused your problems before you invest too much of yourself in the relationship.

If you decide to let him go, then do just that.  Make a clean break.  None of that “just friends” stuff can be allowed because you would just be setting yourself up for more confusion later.  You have to cut him out of your life completely. I know it’s easier said than done but I’m sure you can find other things to occupy your time.  Studying maybe?

Let me know if you have any questions.  Trust your instincts and follow your heart!

Questions/Comments?  Email: [email protected] Attn. Rica