Love Column

snoadmin

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I’ve seen it many times. Well, about three fall semesters worth.

New couples are normally easy to spot. They’re all giddy and all over each other. They’re happiness is pleasantly shown through their constant genuine smiles while in the presence of their new significant other.

Freshmen can be apparent to the upperclassmen and faculty. They commonly look lost, young and innocent.

But new, freshman couples tend to be even easier.

It happens every year. You meet someone at orientation or at a Week of Welcome event, and you think that they are extremely attractive, and boom. You’re a couple.

But, I’m not only talking to freshman. It seems that the absence of that one cutie that you finally started to flirt with right before summer started to make your hormones pump harder and faster. Returners can have the very same fever.

I have some objections with this trend.

To begin with, there’s absolutely no way that you can get to know someone well enough in that short amount of time.

We’re in college. The dumb, “I-think-you’re-cute-so-let’s-hold-hands” phase that happens in high school should be over. Done. Finished.

Relationships do not just form from the initial attraction that is experienced between two people. They take time, patience and hard work. They require boldness to open up and let someone else in with the willingness to share part of your life with that person.

In college, there are two types of relationships. The first is a more serious, committed relationship. One that has hopes for a future and that gives a lot of their time and energy and has the desire to work through any issues that may arise. Marriage may not necessarily be directly on the radar, but can be a distant option.

The second is typically the most prominent around campus. It lacks commitment and a “title.” There are no strings, limits, baggage, public display of affection or deep emotional roots. It’s casual and skin deep. It goes no further than hooking up or flirting.

Through my past experience, my advice is to not be tied down during this time in your life. College isn’t about love. It isn’t about finding the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. Rather, it is about finding yourself and how you are going to spend the rest of your life.

In saying this, I am not saying that you should go crazy and have wild one-night stands with just anyone. Whatever you do, be smart about it. Don’t lose yourself, where you come from and your morals. Know and understand your personal boundaries and limits and realize when you are possibly going too far for your comfort, whether that is physically or emotionally.

Also in saying this, I am not bashing those who do have a committed relationship, nor am I saying that it is not possible to find your soul mate while at college. There are plenty of people that have found their husband or wife while attending university.

Still, the chances are smaller, and I just do not believe that finding “love” should be on your number one priority list while at JU. You’re young. You’re free. Embrace it and enjoy it while you can, and don’t let yourself miss out on the experience here in exchange for something that could be very temporary. You’ll be with someone for the rest of your life. Now is the time to just do you.

This is a place for truth. I will constantly aim for sincerity while also being delicate. Love is such a huge part of our lives through relationships, friendships and relatives. We’re always searching for it. Be bold and ask for advice or guidance if you need it! This is strictly for you.

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