Love Column: First Edition

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Illistrated By: Matthew Martin

Love. We all want to feel it, know it and have it forever and ever, amen.  But what is love?

How do you know when you love someone? Is it possible to truly love someone, especially at our age? These are a couple of the more common questions that are asked by our peers. And the thing is, these are completely natural inquiries to have.

That’s where I come in.

As a 20-year-old blonde female, I’ve had quite a few experiences with love, heartbreaks, jerks and the whole nine yards. I’ve had relationships ranging from long-term to just a short run of a couple months.

When I was 16, I met a boy who also attended my high school but was a year ahead of me. He became my best friend and someone I could share absolutely anything with. After getting to know each other for about a month, we began a relationship.

We shared a lot of similarities such as humor, goals, extracurricular activities and so on. But that’s not to say the relationship was completely perfect and that we didn’t have our struggles.

From the outside, I’d be bold enough to say that we probably did look flawless to on-lookers. However, within the gates of our association, we were far from it. We hoped, dreamed and wished that it would become what we desired it to be. But the truth of the matter was, if it wasn’t there then, it was never going to be.

So about three years and two months later he broke up with me, claiming that he “didn’t know what he wanted anymore.”

To say the least, I was heartbroken and absolutely devastated. A man that I poured my life and emotions into for the past 1,155 days or so (with rumor of marriage) just up and decided that he was, well, undecided.

During the healing process, I met someone else. He was handsome, charming, mature and too good to be true. Literally.

We spent a lot of time together, opened up to each other and spoke very regularly.

We were on the track of one day dating and making things “official”, but I wanted to take it slow and fully get to know this guy, especially since I was still bandaging the wounds from my previous relationship.

And it turns out, this was all for good reason.

One day as I was sitting in the library reading a book for class, I received a Facebook message from a random girl. In the message the girl explained to me that she and the boy that I had been seeing had been in a full relationship together until mid-December. He and I started talking around Thanksgiving.

She went on to say that he had been trying to get back with her since they broke up and that they still hung out and “acted like they were still boyfriend and girlfriend.”

She sent me screen shots from her phone (with relevant dates and times) of messages that he sent to her. And honestly, it all added up. There were signs the entire time that I just purposely ignored.

That night, I saw him and confronted him about it with the proof in hand. He denied every bit of it and refused to even take a glance at the screen shots.

In a weird way, I’m so thankful for every crappy situation and companionship I’ve been through. I’ve learned and matured so much on every level and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I shared all of this hoping to gain your trust and confidence. I desire for you to see that. Although I might not have my own love life figured out, I’ve been through a lot and I’m just like you.

So let’s figure it out together.

If you have any relationship or love related questions or stories, I’m all ears (or in this case, eyes). I’d be honored to hear from you.

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